I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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