why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
