honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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