You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
