I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
