It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I want to be your penis for a week.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
