Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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