I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Randomize