I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
