Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
