I'm pants shitting drunk right now
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
i think im in europe. pls send help
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
