Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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