Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
