They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
