whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
