I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
pray to the hookup gods
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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