$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
