I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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