...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
now i know why i became what i already was.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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