Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
