My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
