My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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