Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
