First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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