im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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