I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Watching her eat just hurts me
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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