yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
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