my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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