.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
