Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Floor bacon is actually really good
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
