The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
