How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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