I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
