bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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