Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize