Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
