Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize