they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
