hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I have feelings that need drinking.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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