my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Randomize
