Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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