HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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