I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Randomize
