no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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