Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
