yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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