Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
