I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize