OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
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