UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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