oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
