Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
You need Xanax blowdarts
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
last night I used snow as a chaser
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
