i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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