I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize