The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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