"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
