the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
