my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Randomize
