I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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