Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
This house was built for laser tag.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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