Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
i am craving dick and cupcakes
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
